FORGIVENESS ... Freedom from Emotional Dependency
Updated: Sep 28
By Humberto Fortuna MA, MS
When I wrote my book Freedom from Emotional Dependency, I dedicated a whole chapter about Forgiveness
Once you begin making progress during your healing process or break-up or detachment, it will become normal for you to begin experiencing some new or numb feelings and emotions. Maybe you had a love relationship and you have stopped thinking about your ex. That is great. The problem now that you are experiencing is that you are accepting or identifying other issues like the feeling of shame or humiliation.
These feelings may be due to behaviors that you expressed during certain events of the past, like the way you behaved at your break-up of your relationship, for example. When you begin recognizing your ‘true self’ and spending more time ‘in the moment,’ you may begin seeing things from a different perspective. You may even start with evaluating how you reacted in such and such situation. You may think that your behavior was crazy or not normal in your eyes.
Even if you begin with this train of thought, my recommendation is for you to allow those feelings and realize that you were acting normally in an extremely abnormal situation. The surprising thing for you now, is that you can see why you were reacting that way then. Now, you are able to see things more clearly and calmly while you are in touch with the present and with your ‘true self’.
Maybe you did not like how you acted and that’s ok. Stop going over and over it in your mind. Stop obsessing over the past. Do not beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and move forward. It’s time to begin the process of forgiveness. Forgive others but at the same time, forgive yourself as well. The feeling of ‘if you forgive yourself this time, you may do it again,’ is a normal feeling. I’m sure you must have thought about this or something similar has crossed your mind. Your behavior may have been strong, even though you may never have wanted it to be that way, but that was because you were not being your ‘true self’. Without forgiving or being afraid of acting the same way again, you may feel that you are now more in control. But, think about this…if you are in control but not in touch with your ‘true self’, are you going to be able to love others completely? While giving yourself fully, as who you truly are?
So, forgiveness is the way you will be able to do it, because when you are in a difficult situation, you will accept how you reacted to an event and you will be able to move forward, honoring who you are. The reality is that you may again begin questioning yourself: • What if I’m the nasty, crazy person? • Why have all my relationships brought doubt about myself? • What is he or she was not the psychopath? • What if I’m just a lunatic who made that up to avoid rejection? • What if I have a personality disorder? • What if I just invented everything?
As you can see, with this type of questioning, your mind is doubting you and your feelings, because they are all new feelings that your mind has to deal with. If you were used to being with someone who was cheating on you or an emotional manipulator, and you were not able to stand up to them when they betrayed you or disrespected you, this type of questioning will apply to you, for sure. Now, the situation is different because you are able to see it and feel it. So, it is ok to be in this moment with these feelings. You have to deal with them for what they are and how they are presenting to you.
You need to understand that, even if you behaved like a crazy person, you do deserve to be forgiven and you need to stop punishing yourself for your past throughout your whole journey. You deserve mercy, and why not?
• Mercy gives compassion the power and element to be able to see light in a darkened event. • Mercy is kindness, forgiveness, and empathy. • Mercy chooses not to be offended, and compassionately sees a hurting heart behind hurtful words. • Mercy allows us to experience love, forgiveness, compassion, peace, and joy, whether we deserve it or not. • Mercy will allow you to see others striving to see the other side of someone’s anger, crossing a picket line to forgive, or pulling over to help a wandering soul. • Mercy is love and encouragement.
Things could have been worse than what you went through. Now you understand that it is not always about right or wrong. It is not about who is crazy or not crazy. Practicing self-unconditional love will be a great start! When you withhold forgiveness from yourself, it will only make you feel worse. It will only make you feel more ashamed if you cannot let it go. It becomes like a snowball and this situation does not help you free yourself from ties that are holding you down.
Try to shake it off and let go of all those dramatic and sad feelings. Don’t keep them in your heart. Make a conscious decision of wanting and desiring to feel light and free and fun. Why not create an easy going lifestyle with freedom and joy!
Learn more about Emotional Dependency
As you go through an evaluation of your journey, you will realize that there are many things that you may need to change in order for you to achieve what you are looking for. This book is an evaluation of an individual that has just come out of a relationship healing process. That individual is me. Or, it could be you.
As you heal, you ask yourself, “How come I didn’t see this before?” Maybe now you realize that must be changed for the sole purpose of achieving peace of mind, happiness, or even some sort of freedom and independency in your life.
Emotional Dependency can occur in many types of relationships, not just in a romantic, love relationship. Emotional relationships include children with their parents, parents with their children, co-workers or any situation that is causing you to be dependent. If you do not find your ‘true self,’ and become true to your feelings, nothing will work, especially with a dependency.
It is my intention to help you by sharing my experiences as well as teaching you how to embrace and honor yourself. In my case, I did a complementation of traditional and alternative medicine treatments that I will share with you throughout this book.
As an Energy Healer, I needed to combine the traditional and the alternative for a more natural healing process. I will teach you how to use the Law of Attraction, Akashic Records, Meditation, and exercises and techniques that helped me to achieve what I was looking for. I will show you how we are all surrounded by messages as well as learning to recognize and interpret them. As part of the alternative methodology that I used, I will share my experiences with my archangels and spiritual guides. While using ‘mindfulness,’ you will reconnect with unconditional love.
Placement Counselors Corp network in Southeast Florida (Broward, Dade and Palm Beach Counties) with several local and national organizations like Area Agency on Aging of Broward County, Elder Affairs and ADRC (Aging and Disability Resource Center) Adult Protective Services, etc… provides information and assistance about state and federal benefits, as well as available local programs and services and Placement Counselors in the North Region: Juno Beach, Jupiter, Jupiter Inlet Colony, Lake Park, North Palm Beach, Palm Beach Gardens, Palm Beach Shores, Riviera Beach/Singer Island, Tequesta, West Palm Beach skyline at night. Central Region: Atlantis, Cloud Lake, Glen Ridge, Greenacres.. Haverhill, Hypoluxo. Lake Clarke Shores, Lake Worth. Lantana, Loxahatchee Groves. Manalapan Magnolia Park Palm, Beach Palm Springs. Royal Palm Beach, South Palm Beach, Wellington. West Palm Beach, Lake Okeechobee & The Glades. Boca Inlet Aerial. South Region, Boca Raton: Boynton Beach, Briny Breezes, Delray Beach, Gulf Stream Highland Beach, Ocean Ridge, Village of Golf . Broward County has very important cities such as: Coconut Creek, Cooper City, Coral Springs, Dania Beach, Davie, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Hallandale Beach, Hillsboro Beach, Hollywood, Lauderdale Lakes, Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, Lauderhill, Lighthouse Point, Margate, Miramar, North Lauderdale, Oakland Park, Parkland, Pembroke Park, Pembroke Pines, Plantation, Pompano Beach, Sea Ranch Lakes, Southwest Ranches, Sunrise, Tamarac, Weston, Wilton ManorsPCC and 55+ Magazine is part of the local Networking system in Southeast Florida and with the following establishments.
Humberto Fortuna, MA, MS, was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1968 where he earned his first Master of Arts degree at age 20. He came to the US in 1989 where he began his career in the Health Care field in South Florida. He specialized in Social Services for the geriatric population, concentrating in Alzheimer's and related Dementias. He received his second Master's Degree in Health Care Administration with concentration in Long Term Care from Lynn University, Florida, in 1998. He received a Post Graduate Certificate in Aging Studies in 1999. In the same year, as a Serial Entrepreneur, he created his own company; Placement Counselors Corporation. He also created Scoop for Seniors Publishing, Papinos LLC, and is publisher of 55+ Magazine, currently available in the SE region of Florida for the past 10 yrs. He currently has his own private practice as a Geriatric Specialist and won the Caregivers award for a book he co-wrote with Cindy VanDusen. He became a Certified Angel Healer Practitioner, Certified Energy Healer Practitioner, and a Certified Past Life Regressions and Akashic Records Practitioner. He also became a Certified Sound Healer and Reiki Master among other modalities. He is fusing his knowledge and experience with all these new techniques and philosophies to further his practice as an Energy Healer while dedicating his time to educating and promoting Alternative and Complementary Medicine with a Clinical Mind. Humberto finished publishing his book "The Boss from Within" and continues to educate through workshops and seminars.
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