By Humberto Fortuna MA, MS
As part of my healing, I had to take responsibility and be able to call things by their name. As much as I studied academically for what developed into my career as a healthcare professional, it is not the same as when you have to deal with some situations first hand. I had to come to terms with emotional dependency and obsession characteristics and episodes as well as with narcissistic personalities and behaviors.
I will begin with simple questions that I asked myself so I could break it down for easier understanding and to be able to assimilate the information that was referring to my situation.
It was not easy to read. I realized that many characteristics of narcissism sounded familiar for some of my ex’s in past relationships.
Causes for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), aren’t very well understood. However, inherited genetic defects are thought to be responsible in many cases of this disorder. Contributing environmental factors may include:
• Childhood abuse
• Excessive parental over protection or pampering
• Unrealistic expectations from parents
• Sexual promiscuity (often accompanies narcissism)
• Cultural influences
A narcissist detaches themselves from their true self due to an early trauma or emotional damage. What this person really does is replace his or her true self with a grandiose or superior false self. This alternate false self persona often comes across as:
• Above others
• Self-absorbed (always thinking about self and preoccupied with one’s own feelings, interests, or situation)
• Vain (excessively proud of oneself)
In society, politicians, and individuals, believe it or not, show mild to severe forms of narcissism. Not only do they show it, they often encourage others to become one.
We can all agree that we are in a highly individualistic and externally driven society. Society wants you to be independent and be auto driven to success.
The outcome of this false self that they create, ends up falling in love with the idealization of their self image.
We always thought of narcissism as a person who is in love with themselves. The idealism of the self-image is projected by these individuals in order to avoid feeling and being seen as the real, disenfranchised, wounded human being.
The sad part is, deep down, most pathological narcissists are suffering. They look completely calm on a superficial level, while in reality, are frantically trying to keep up with the demands of their life.
It is obvious, that as painful as it is, they won’t admit to the pain they are experiencing.
Because it is not my intention to diagnose anyone, not even myself, with all of this information or any information provided in this book, I would just like to present some of the questions that I asked myself at one time so I could understand what a narcissist really is. I had researched this disorder so I could consciously take responsibility and see the characteristics in some of the people that I interacted with such as my ex and even myself.
On our journey, we have all experienced some of the characteristics of narcissism, so just allow the information to come to you and not feel threatened; just breathe and keep reading. I understand that you may be challenged to read this chapter or to think that one of your loved ones fits this profile. We are not here to blame or point fingers at anyone, remember that. We are just learning and trying to be in touch with ourselves. This way, we will be able to identify if we want to be involved with a narcissist or not.
Humberto Fortuna, MA, MS, was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1968 where he earned his first Master of Arts degree at age 20. He came to the US in 1989 where he began his career in the Health Care field in South Florida. He specialized in Social Services for the geriatric population, concentrating in Alzheimer’s and related Dementias. He received his second Master’s Degree in Health Care Administration with concentration in Long Term Care from Lynn University, Florida, in 1998. He received a Post Graduate Certificate in Aging Studies in 1999. In the same year, as a Serial Entrepreneur, he created his own company; Placement Counselors Corporation. He also created Scoop for Seniors Publishing, Papinos LLC, and is publisher of 55+ Magazine, currently available in the SE region of Florida for the past 10 yrs. He currently has his own private practice as a Geriatric Specialist and won the Caregivers award for a book he co-wrote with Cindy VanDusen. He became a Certified Angel Healer Practitioner, Certified Energy Healer Practitioner, and a Certified Past Life Regressions and Akashic Records Practitioner. He also became a Certified Sound Healer and Reiki Master among other modalities. He is fusing his knowledge and experience with all these new techniques and philosophies to further his practice as an Energy Healer while dedicating his time to educating and promoting Alternative and Complementary Medicine with a Clinical Mind. Humberto is currently working on his third book “The Root of Business Conscious Manifestation” and continues to educate through workshops and seminars. email@example.com